Sometimes there's a system
Sometimes there's complete anarchy
I just go about my business
Living
Look at all the chaos around me
Jump back into the past
Lost my childhood
Bounced around in different homes
Thought once I was loved
Until I realized
Having to drink piss for breakfast
Isn't love
They were Christians, I thought it was.
But I was bad
Used to wet my bed
Up till I was nearly ten
Maybe I deserved it.
I think not.
Now they tell my brother it was coffee
Watered down
That's not what I believed,
That's not the taste I still get
From time to time
When I'm feeling
Like being bad.
I'd just assume forget
Forgive and let it go
But sometimes I can't
When I get that taste
I feel lost now
Searching for love,
Real love,
To fill a void
Maybe created by my childhood,
Maybe created because I can't let go.
Living alone
Though there's people around me
That love me
They don't fill the void
I love them
But they're not what I'm looking for.
Philip Osborne DEC 28, 1993
